How long will you lie there, O sluggard?
When will you arise from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
and want like an armed man. –Proverbs 6:9-11

It’s 6am and the alarm clock sounds it annoying buzzing and awakes the young man from his peaceful and comfortable slumber in the bed in the bedroom in which he grew up. His parents are his landlords. He hits the snooze button. He needs to get himself out of bed as he has an important appointment in just a couple of hours. It is a rendezvous with the next chapter in his life. His college days are over and he is at the threshold of independence by taking a step forward. His appointment is a job interview.

He has a decision to make. Does he get up, get “dressed for success” and make it in time to meet this new opportunity head on – OR – does he hit the snooze button, roll over and grab more sleep?

He tries to rationalize in his mind that the interview is really not that important because it is not the job he really wants and it doesn’t pay the wages he desires. He then begins to convince himself that another opportunity with better income potential might come along. He can just hang with his parents. They’ll take care of him a while longer. They’ve been doing so since he graduated from college last year. Well, that was easy. Not a big deal, right?

It is a BIG deal. It is time for this young man and others like him to realize God did not create man to be lazy and dependent on others . The work God wants us to accomplish within his Kingdom is carried out by those who respond to the call of wisdom and maturity that comes with understanding the importance of self-sufficiency and responsibility. As the Proverbs passage shows us the consequences of laziness and idleness will bring a condition that no man wants – poverty. Life becomes much more difficult when one does not have the resources to sustain oneself. And, the way to obtain those resources is by getting that job!

So, turn that alarm clock off! Get out of bed and move forward with your life. It’s time to take that next step on life’s journey. Trust me – it really will be a step in the right direction.

JMG

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“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” -1 Corinthians 13:11

Beginning December 1st I will write a daily series on this blog based on the importance of taking responsibility as a man entitled “It’s Time to Man Up.” These writings will be intended for men who are between the ages of 21 to 35. This particular age group has been designated as Generation Y, also known as the Millennial Generation (or Millennials), Generation Next, Net Generation, Echo Boomers, or the iGeneration. I have two of these members as sons and I am involved in walking with a group of these guys at my church on a regular basis. So, this topic is close to my heart.

Some have called this group of young men as part of the Peter Pan Generation who are delaying their passage into adulthood with longer periods than most generations before them. They are choosing to avoid responsibility and are men who stay boys inside. As a result, their ability to forge strong relationships with women and other men are impacted. Their desire to assume the responsibility of gainful employment and security is much less than men who have preceded them. And, for many, their desire to lead as men is handicapped because of poor relationships with their fathers and/or other men in their lives.

These “boy-men” ARE men and are made in God’s image. Unfortunately, they are not facing the issues impeding their ability to realize what God has intended for them. Some of these issues include the importance of leaving behind adolescent behavior, continuing their education, establishing career goals, understanding finances, realizing the significance of relationships and what the true biblical reality of sex is and how to embrace it; and becoming a father and not a “daddy.” And, this just begins to scratch the surface. It is my hope with this series I can speak into their lives and give them some ideas on how to leave their “childish ways” behind and become real men the way God wants them to be.

Please join me as we look at these topics and others facing the Millennial men as they encounter the reality of life and their understanding of the phrase “It’s Time to Man Up!”

Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In early November, at the beginning of each day – following the pledge of allegiance and school announcements – we began our recitation exercise. With her infamous “Lanier Funeral Home” yardstick in hand she boldly delivered the first stanza followed by the request to replicate her words. The remaining stanzas followed suit. Without hesitation – and the fear of a spanking in the supply closet with that yardstick – we followed like a well-trained army. The girls usually had the words down a lot faster than us boys. They always wanted to have a “leg up” on their male counterparts!

Each day I attempted to learn my lines and proudly said them in unison with the rest of my classmates. One week before Thanksgiving Mrs. Armstrong announced each student would stand before the class and provide a perfect reproduction of the scripture. What?!!! Get up before the class – she had to be kidding! Fear began to set in. I was not feeling confident that I could knock this out without any problem. I began to really worry!

Well, the weeks of practice had come to an end and the time to make a fool of myself had arrived. On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving we took the first hour of class to say the One-Hundredth Psalm back to Mrs. A. Several of my friends got to go first and most did a good job in their recitations. A couple of the girls actually stumbled and were ordered to “try it again.” Then my time arrived. “John, your next!” she announced. Sweat beaded up on my neck and butterflies were swarming in my stomach. I slowly made my way from my desk to the front of the class. I was shaking like a leaf. It was a “do or die” moment in my young life. I closed my eyes, and, gave it my best:

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the Lord, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations.
– Psalm 100

I did it! I got through it! The Lord is good! A smile of approval came from the teacher I admired and loved. She said “great job!” Then, it was on to the next student to see how well they could do with the verses. For me, I was a proud fourth grader. A Thanksgiving memory was created that particular Thanksgiving season that has endured for all of these years. And, for that – I am very thankful.

This year as you gather your families for the Thanksgiving holiday take a few minutes to read this Psalm and commit it to memory. You might even make a memory that will last for many Thanksgivings to come.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As we gorge ourselves, we will find ourselves spending some “quality” time with long-lost relatives who we have not seen since last Thanksgiving. You know – the distant sibling who is still reeling from a bitter divorce from a spouse who ran off with his/her co-worker. The cousin from two states over who has nothing better to do than to tell you about the incredible deal he just got on a time share associated with a mobile home on a lake in Podunk, Arkansas. Or, the aunt who must bring you up to date on the many cousins you never have met (or desire to meet) who live on the other side of the country. And, don’t forget about the older relatives who tell you story after story – over and over – while you try to watch your favorite team on TV. Yes – family time! Don’t you just love it? Or, do you?

The tradition of coming together as family is one that either delights and warms our hearts or creates stress and anxiety causing a sharp pain to develop down our left arm! Not all families are quite like the one I described, but many families possess individuals who can really make a holiday unforgettable, but not with a memory we want to keep. These folks can bring out the worst in all of us.

So, how do we handle these challenging gatherings with our families? I encourage those who face the difficult holidays, like Thanksgiving, to consider what Paul wrote to the churches in Galatia about possessing the “fruits of the Spirit”:

“But , the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” –Galatians 5:22-26

God wants us to evoke behavior that is consistent with the character of one who walks in the Spirit. Our best example: our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, our depravity can cause us our flesh to do the complete opposite of how Jesus wants us to act.

Jesus taught his disciples about the good and bad treasure of their hearts – “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” –Luke 6:45 It is much easier for us to use the “bad treasure” of our heart to relate to those we sit with at the dining room table – or the children’s table in the Kitchen. However, with God, it is possible to be kind, gentle, patient and loving with those we will encounter this week. The “good treasure” can be used to build bridges over rivers of relational distance that seem way too wide to cross.

Trust in the Lord to give you the strength and guidance in order to persevere during the hours or days you are around your relatives this week. I know He will be there with you each step of the way – even when your Aunt Gertrude tells you about her latest bout with the gout!

And, please….. don’t eat too much turkey this year!

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It is so easy to get “stuck” in life. We sometimes find ourselves in a place where we either can’t or don’t want to make any movement toward leaving. Our routines and the “same old same old” events in which we participate are like heavy anchors keeping us immovable and satisfied with our condition. Over the years, I have faced obstacles that were real mental barriers allowing me to get to the next step in my life.

One event that comes to mind is the decision I made a few years after I graduated from college to leave our hometown of Jackson, Tennessee. Michelle and I were married for almost two years when we decided to take our brand new baby and pick up everything we owned (and that was not much) and move to Louisville, Kentucky. I accepted a sales position with a company that would afford me an income allowing me to sustain our family and have some professional growth. It was a difficult, yet exciting decision for us. We knew our families would be sad and disappointed we elected to put our roots down elsewhere. However, it was probably one of the best decisions we ever made.

We assimilated well to our new city – finding new friends, a new church and a vast array of activities for our little boy. In fact, we remained in Louisville for six years making the city the birthplace of our second child. My career blossomed and so did our marriage. Without this action of “forward movement” in our lives I am sure we would not have matured and grown in our relationship as husband and wife as well as parents.

Many of us are fearful of moving forward in life because we do not know what lies ahead for us. Fear, anxiety, uncertainty and insecurity are just a few of the emotions that can develop when looking over the fence to the future. The good news is God is faithful and is walking with us through these uncharted waters every step of the way. He knows what lies ahead and he will travel with us as we move ahead.

If you are finding yourself not moving forward in your life – whether it is in relationships with family or friends, career, school or in your spiritual life – don’t be afraid to take one step forward to see what it is like. I am certain it will be a step in the right direction! I am so glad I was willing to take that step.

These twenty-four years of marriage have had their fair share of ups and downs, celebrations and sorrows and laughter and tears.  They have provided great opportunities for us to know more about how the reality of life feels in the midst of trying to pay bills, raising a family and moving ahead in a career.

Over these many years God gifted us with three very unique children who we love more than we ever imagined – even when they now clean my wallet out to cover all their college and high school expenses!   I’ve changed jobs more times than I ever imagined when I graduated from college.  We moved from house to house several times – both in town and out-of-town.  We survived the birth and death of a small business that I originally thought would be a great success.  We saw a life-threatening illness wrap itself around our oldest son, yet made it through that very, very difficult period in his life.  We also experienced the death of my father and the onset of Alzheimer’s disease with my mother.  Yes, both good and bad times.  More good than bad.

As I reflect on these years together I also find myself returning to what has kept us together.  It is easy to say love has kept us together – just like the old Captain and Tennille song.  And, yes, it’s true:  I was – and I still am – madly in love with this woman.  Love is the gift God gives us to cover the relationship.  The love we have for each other is the glue that keeps the marriage together.  However, I believe there is something much more important.  It is the covenant – our marital agreement – we created that provides the foundation of our union.

On that sweltering August day in 1986 we stood before church, family and friends and made a promise between the two of us and God stating we would commit ourselves to each other during the good, the bad and the ugly of the marriage.  I know I didn’t realize the importance and magnitude of the word – covenant – when I was younger and eager to start a new life with Michelle.  But now, twenty-four years later, I have had time to truly understand what a covenant means and how our marriage relationship is bound by it.

Covenants have been of great importance from the beginning of creation.  God’s covenants show the moral and judicial importance of a promise and their role in our lives.  He made a covenant with Adam (Covenant of Works) based on life for obedience and death for disobedience.  The covenants with Noah, Abraham, and Moses illustrate God’s love for His creation and His people.  The Covenant of Grace fulfills the Covenant of Works by Jesus’ death on the cross as a substitution for our sin and unrighteousness.   I am confident our marital covenant, ordained by God and of great importance to Him, is reflective of the one made with us through Jesus Christ.  Consider this passage from Ephesians:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:22-33

Marriage covenants are not made to be broken, yet couples are breaking up in record numbers.  Less than half of marriages today are expected to last –Christian couples are not excluded from this statistic.  Our society has made it very easy to dissolve a marriage with “no-fault” divorces.  Divorce attorneys are working overtime to handle the case loads on their desks.  And, those couples who want to make it more complicated for the other spouse can pay attorneys and mediators large amounts of money to get “their fair share” or punitive satisfaction out of the marriage.  Many times this comes at the expense of children.

We recently heard the sad news of a couple we have known for many, many years separated and heading toward divorce.  It shocked both of us.  We don’t know why the marriage collapsed, but we suspect it is something or someone else capturing the husband’s heart as it was no longer the woman he married thirty-one years ago.  It reminded us how easily the evil one can find a crack in our relationship, bring a crow bar to the union and tear it wide open so he can destroy it.  Michelle and I know this could happen to us if we are not constantly on guard and seeking God’s guidance for strength, unity, peace and perseverance.  Marriage is tough and Satan can easily show any couple an “out” if they yield to his deceptions and deceit.

Divorce is a grievous thing to God.  In the Gospel of Matthew we read:

“And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” –Matthew 9:3-6

These are just some of my thoughts on the view of marriage and the importance of the promise I made twenty-four years ago.  If you are married, I would encourage you to look at the relationship between the two of you and see how healthy it is right now.  Do you embrace the covenant the two of you made?  Do you feel you are committed to each other now as you were when you both said “I do”?  If not, seek some guidance from a pastor, marriage counselor or trusted advisor who can walk with you to process your feelings and concerns.  It will be well worth it.  Don’t let your marriage bond change from “a promise made” to “a promise not kept.”

Grace and peace.

JMG

CLICK HERE for three marital nuggets Michelle and I use to stay in “forward motion” with our marriage.